Seven Classic Mistakes Which are Sabotaging Your Goals.
The road to realising ambitious goals is seldom straightforward, but here are some of the classic mistakes to avoid to improve your chances of success, as well as your overall happiness.
#1 Believing Your Goal is the Holy Grail of Happiness. There is a common tendency within humanity to say:
"I'll be truly happy when....(fill in the blank)..."
If happiness is always in the obtainment of the next goal, you'll catch few moments of it.
We need goals, they give us purpose, drive and improve our longevity, but you need balance. Practicing gratitude for your current state is the perfect way to realign your perspective. Aim toward enjoying the present moment, but excited for more. If you need help rewiring the brain for positive thinking try this Gratitude Course.
#2 Making Yourself Miserable With Desire. Often times initially when we discover a new desire it's thrilling, but it can turn into utter torture if you are constantly noticing that you don't have what you want. Desire should feel pleasant, it should incentivise, not punish you for where you feel your life falls short of your expectations.
Focus on WHY you want what you want and how it would FEEL to have it in your life. Feeling miserable about what you want is a big fat clue that your mindset towards the goal needs a tune up.
Our emotions clue us into our innermost thoughts. You may or may not even be aware of them. Miserable desire often comes form being fearful of a negative outcome, being in fight/flight (read STRESSING OUT!) negative self talk, a lack of self belief or projecting a negative past experience onto the situation.
You might have forgotten that the point of the pursuit is to arrive at happiness. Lighten up! Disconnect for a moment if you need to. Consider mindfulness or creative visualisation. Imagining having your desired outcome for five minutes can be enough to put you in a good mood and alleviate stress, (you see your amazing brain doesn't really know if it's happening, or if you're just playing pretend, and it'll produce for you that happiness emotion chemical cocktail which will calm down the nervous system.)
You may also consider getting professional help to get a handle on your painful past experiences, mastering your mindset and growing your self esteem, too. try Kinesiology Balancing
#3 Spending Too Little Time Pursuing the Goal. People often look at their results after not much time and feel short-changed in terms of what they get back. Repetition is the factor which leads to mastery, no matter what. The tendency of some is to give up due to slow progress. You need to decide if the goal is worth the investment of your time, and adjust accordingly. Budget your time paying attention to the areas of life which are the most valuable to you. #4 Being Too Critical of Your Progress. Constant scrutiny, criticism and evaluation of your progress can remove the enjoyment of what you are doing as well as robbing you of enough confidence to continue with your goal. Nobody likes being incompetent at anything, but you wont get any better by giving up. Build your confidence and work on being compassionate with yourself as you grow. You deserve your own compassion. You can still love a child as they learn and grow, being the best at something isn't the only reason to dispense love and kindness! #5 Choosing Goals Which Aren't Aligned With Your True Interests. What are the most important things in life, to YOU? Have you ever given it any thought? Have you adopted what your authority figures told you to value, or can you answer this question for yourself? Do You love Art, Helping People, Nature, Health? What is important to YOU?
Make sure your time is budgeted and the majority of it going to those things which you truly value! Being passionate about what you do ensures you stick with it after a set back, or through the drudgerous bits, and means you are happy to devote the chunk of your life required to master the goal. (Free Personal Values and Life Purpose Assessment Questionnaire with each purchase until October! Book in with Erin Ricketts)
#6 Trying to Do It All Yourself..
Whilst it is tempting to overload yourself with multiple complex responsibilities, there are certain things which we are more skilled at, and those which suck at our energy. There is no shame in redirecting your energy away from anything which drains you or which you straight up can't or don't want to do if you can let it go and still accomplish your goal.
Imagine a Venn diagram, ID the tasks which are VITAL, PRODUCTIVE, what you ENJOY, what you are GOOD AT and if it relates to a career goal: what the market PAYS FOR. Focus on doing the tasks which intersect. Focus on Up-skilling, coaching/counselling or consider recruiting assistance for the other stuff. Understand that nobody can do it all alone, it's OK.
#7 Not Breaking things down to Managable Tasks
You need to break things down to one tiny step at a time, otherwise things appear rather overwhealming. Everything can be broken down to many tiny steps or daily habits. It's far easier and more effective to focus on just the few tasks you can do at present. Everything is just the sum total of many small actions. Take one tiny action as soon as possible.
I hope you enjoy putting these tips to use. All the best in realising your goals, and remember that Kinesiology can help with obtaining the mindset geared for success and happiness. Book a session.
"Life's GREATEST adventure is turning a dream into reality."